Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
