i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
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Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
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Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?