Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
