Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I am morally bankrupt
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
