sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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