Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
