I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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