weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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