Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
