You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
