3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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