I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
