They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize