let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
