i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We don't watch enough power rangers
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
