i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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