God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize