Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
