I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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