In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
