never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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