I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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