I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
