OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
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New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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