he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
