So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
