Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize