Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
