the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
