you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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