You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
