mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
