you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
