He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
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My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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