Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style