i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?