Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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