Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
