If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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