: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
