I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
