Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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