everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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