Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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