he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am available for nakedness
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
