I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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