She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She's the barista slut.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
