pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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