i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
