C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
