Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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