On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
