It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
