this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
