i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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