Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
