pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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