fuck your aforementioned shoe
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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