it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
