Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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