It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
