And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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