You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
