i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
