I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That was an excessively violent trivia night
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
